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10 most stupid questions

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10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers: -

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends
Stupid Question: - Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: - Well, it’s so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought I’d watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question: - Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: - No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia... why don't you try again or should i try this time.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question: - Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: - Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: - Is the "blah" dish good
Answer: - No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question: - George, Robert, you've become so big.
Answer: - Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
Stupid Question: - Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: - No, he’s a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone calls
Stupid Question: - Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: - No. I was playing cricket for India and just when you called referee was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
Stupid Question: - Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: - No, its autumn and I'm shedding...

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth
Stupid Question: - Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: - And while I'm telling you, you tell me if I bite.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks
Stupid Question: - Oh, so you smoke
Answer: - No, it's a miracle... it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!
 

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